No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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