I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
