Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
