im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize