i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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