If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
