Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
