and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
