So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
