Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
