No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Your tits are I can't wait for
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
