I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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