I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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