I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
