Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
