just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
