would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My pussy is not your playground.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
