What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
