You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
