When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
