All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
