I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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