You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
