What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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