I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
