Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
