I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
