Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
