I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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