belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Pooping to opera.
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