Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
