I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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