So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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