he puts the penis in happiness.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
