What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
