Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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