you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
