i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
