captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
