i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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