i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
