just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
