When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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