i jhust puked up my retainher.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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