So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
