i just had sex bonerless
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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