Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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