A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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