i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
