NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
