that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
