there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
