Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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