She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
