You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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