38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
