lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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