WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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