hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
