what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
