oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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