Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
