Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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