The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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