Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
