dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
