we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize