if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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