So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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