My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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