That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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