is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
