im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
drinking out of a sandbucket again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
