Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
