We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize